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Lately I have been reading a lot about how parents of young children are frustrated by the phrase “enjoy every moment.” They claim that these words, often passed along by parents with grown children, are not realistic and the recipients end up feeling guilty as a result. I understand their frustration. Parenting is exhausting, difficult, and quite overwhelming at times. Not every moment is pleasant. Diaper changes, temper tantrums, projectile vomiting (usually in the middle of the night), runny noses, whining, homework struggles- none of these are particularly enjoyable.
So why do I think that this is still good advice?
I am one of those annoying parents who pass along this advice, so I understand the intention by which it is given. I do not want my words to ever be guilt-producing. Rather, I hope that they are gratitude-inducing. While not every moment is pleasant, you can be grateful that you are there for your child in that moment. You are there to comfort them, care for them, teach and train them. You are the one who calms their fears, picks them up when they fall down, and encourages them to keep trying. It’s challenging and messy and heart-wrenching at times, but you are the lucky one who gets to be there with them through it all!
Perhaps you think I am naïve or that I don’t remember how hard the early years can be. It isn’t that I don’t remember, because I do, trust me! I’m just far enough along in the journey that I can look back and see that there were many more positive moments than negative. I can see that I was the happiest and most successful when I counted my girls as blessings and I didn’t take my role as their mother for granted. I certainly wasn’t perfect and I learned so much along the way. I would hope that someone somewhere could benefit from my experience.
Parenting requires a long-term investment perspective. Yes, there are hills and valleys along the way, but we need to keep our focus on our long-term goals, all the while recognizing that those words “long-term” can be deceiving. The seemingly-endless moments you see ahead of yourself pass by in the blink of an eye. “The days are long, but the years are short.” (Gretchen Rubin) And so my advice remains: Be fully present, be grateful, and enjoy every moment!